Oh, Mike
Mike Lee is my senator, in the same way that Clare Crawley is my Bachelorette. In both cases, I would prefer it not to be that way, but the majority overruled my preference and I’m stuck with them (well, with Clare for like one more week and hopefully only a couple more years with Mikey boy.)
I’m frustrated about Mike. Frustrated in a way that can’t be explained except through overtly Utahn language.
Mike is a grown up Provo All-Star who would’ve definitely done summer sales if Vivint were around in the early ninties.
He’s the type of guy who would give a talk in Church about the trial of not having any trials (“My parents gave me everything so I have no hardships to channel into my art!”)
His dad was basically Latter-Day Saint royalty (a term that RHOSLC has cheapened this year but no matter), which we all know means Mike was set up, ahem, worked very hard for what he has, from a young age.
He doesn’t believe in science and he does believe that Big Tech is censoring liberals (all while he censors his own critics.) He’s been rated the most conservative senator in Congress, which isn’t necessarily a bad thing but you can see how it would be irksome for about half the population.
So, in this election cycle that has nothing to do with Senator Lee, I’m going to make list of things that he has done and said that are dumb. This is by no means a comprehensive list, because I don’t have time for that. I have important things to do, like listen to The Bad Broadcast or make sure my dog isn’t puking on the rug.
- He compared President Trump to Captain Moroni
Oh, Mike.
“To my Mormon friends!” he screams, his voice reaching a fever pitch. “My Latter-Day Saint friends. Think of him,” points to Trump, “As Captain Moroni. He seeks not power, but to pull it down. He seeks not the praise of the world or the fake news. But he seeks the well-being and peace of the American people. Are you ready to stand with me and millions and millions of others who want four more years?” The crowd, draped in the harsh red of our leader, screams in encouragement. Many are not wearing masks.
If you’re reading this, I’m guessing you know who Captain Moroni is. The Book of Mormon hero. He was pretty cool, from what his biographer says.
“This was the faith of Moroni, and his heart did glory in it; not in the shedding of blood but in doing good, in preserving his people, yea, in keeping the commandments of God, and resisting iniquity… If all men had been, and were, and ever would be, like unto Moroni, behold, the very powers of hell would have been shaken forever; yea, the devil would never have power over the hearts of the children of men.”
I mean, that definitely sounds like Trump. Resisting iniquity and setting an example for all of us to follow.
Thanks, Mike, for filling us in.
2. He talked about dinosaurs and having babies in his spirited defense of climate change (you read that right.)
He showed a picture of President Regan firing a machine gun while riding a velociraptor (who is holding an American flag.) He showed a picture of a Tom Tom (honestly I have no idea if I got that right, but it’s a space lizard, so I’m guessing there is no *wrong* way to say it.) He showed a picture of Aquaman, declaring that Hawaiians were now going to be stuck riding seahorses for travel.
His argument was that the Green New Deal is ridiculous. So then he spiraled into ridiculousness.
Oh, we don’t need to worry. Mike isn’t afraid of climate change, so naturally we have little to fear. Oh, and if we are afraid? All we need to have more babies and just let them solve the problem.
I wrote an op-ed about this back when it happened in 2019. Over a year later and I still can’t wrap my head around the fact that I’m still even peripherally connected to this guy.
3. He didn’t vote for Trump in 2016 (let me finish) and then changed his mind
“Actions speak louder than words,” says Mike in defense of his quick-switch. Apparently, the only actions that count are the ones that Mike himself agrees with.
Trump hasn’t defended families. He doesn’t care about religious freedom and he definitely doesn’t respect ours.
I have empathy for truly conservative people in the voting process right now. It’s difficult to know what to do, and I understand that. Mike even said it has been hard, in a sense. “He says things that I would never say,” he writes.
Well, Mike, this didn’t look like a plug-you-nose-and-vote situation when you shouted comparisons of Trump and one of the greatest Book of Mormon heroes we have.
4. Just a few more, quick things
He tweeted a suggestion that democracy isn’t important anymore.
He tested positive for COVID-19 and then went to an event and hugged people without a mask on.
He doesn’t appear to support LGBTQ liberties.
He voted against the 9/11 Victim Compensation Fund.
There’s more, but like I said, my dog isn’t feeling too hot right now.
Actions Speak Louder Than Words
I don’t think that Senator Lee is an entirely bad person, obviously. He’s a person that I disagree with and who I also believe is moving in a direction that is concerning for our country.
It may not seem like this is relevant for another two years, but it is. It matters now because now is the time we can start laying roots for a better candidate. This way, in two years, we can vote him out proudly and resoundingly.
Senator Lee, thanks for your service, sorry you missed the Vivint train, and I hope you get voted out in 2022. Stop blocking Instagram influencers on your social media feeds, wear a mask, and let this democracy (because that’s what we are and it means something) ride itself out.